


The JSMN Kink-Meme Cliche List (with love)

by Predatrix



Category: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV), Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell - Susanna Clarke
Genre: F/F, Humour, JSMN Kink-Meme, M/M, Meta, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 22:44:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4642800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Predatrix/pseuds/Predatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I started to think this out as a drinking-game, but I can never remember what the rules are for when to sip or swig.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The JSMN Kink-Meme Cliche List (with love)

**Author's Note:**

> If anybody should feel inclined to make me a birthday gift-fic for 1 September (gratefully received even if it arrives late) I've written a post about it on my LJ (Predatrix) and my Tumblr (Pred-x).
> 
> I posted it on the kink-meme but it got stamped on because I'd got the rules wrong...

JSMN Kink-Meme Slash Cliche List (with love).

 

John Childermass

a.k.a. The Fandom Velocipede (everyone wants a ride)

Not unconnected with the actor being very pretty and suffering beautifully, especially the bullet-removal scene.

(I think of him as un-pretty because he’s meant to be charismatic but not pretty in the book/story)

Can be tormentedly in love with Segundus, which starts out as slight Foe Yay (not seriously, more ‘you are a most exasperating person, sir!’) but ends up more romantic, despite wanting to knock some sense into him.

Can be protectively in love with Norrell, in an “it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it” sort of way. He knows all Norrell’s (many) faults but feels some affection for his vulnerability.

Foe Yay with Lascelles (in spades!). It’s canonical that Lascelles is twitching with the desire to lay a whip to Childermass, and the fandom has stepped up to answer this need.

 

John Segundus

The Shy Socially-Anxious Virgin Geek

Is huge magic nerd, and very pretty. He’s also quite badly-dressed, and Childermass is going to save up to buy him a nice waistcoat.

Spends a lot of time having spectacular arguments with Childermass, which may mysteriously devolve into sex, because a Fairy did it, etc.

Childermass will eventually look tormentedly into his dark eyes and confess his feelings (or that he has feelings)

 

Christopher Drawlight

a.k.a. The Designated Whore

Drawlight is a total tart

Drawlight is a total tart, in skirts, up for anything from buggering to spanking to erotic humiliation. 

Lascelles doms Drawlight, who doesn’t really mind, but pretends he does.

Drawlight is the book version, because the tv version is trumped by Rule of Pretty.

 

Henry Lascelles

a.k.a. Pretty Evil. Very Evil. And Very Pretty.

Wants to whip Childermass. And shag him. And the other way round. He is furious at having fancies unworthy of a gentleman.

Childermass will always pwn Lascelles in the end. He’s just that much cleverer (street-smarts and raw intelligence), and Lascelles isn’t as bright as he thinks he is.

May shag Norrell, but for the wrong reasons (wrong reasons meaning “attempting to attain influence and not liking him, even a bit”)

Will have sex with own reflection because He’s Just That Pretty (and well-dressed)

 

Gilbert Norrell

a.k.a. Our Poor Sulky Little Dumpling

Has a small and over-heated following (it’s not just me. Just mostly me) on the kinkmeme, and Strange/Norrell has one of the cutest ship-names I’ve seen on Tumblr (instead of going for mere name-smushing, they chose “Pineapple Dumpling”)

Would have sex with his books, or Vinculus, who is also a book.

When shipped with Strange (in Pillar of Darkness) Strange is always a complete horndog and Norrell blushes. A lot. (I haven’t written any of these yet)

Is possibly on the autism spectrum in the opinion of at least two people on the kinkmeme who are on the spectrum. Yes, this is that selection fallacy thing, but it’s interesting to speculate.

May be ace if he’s not gay (I could quite see this, but am a determined smut-ficcer myself so I leave it to others)

Is in love with Childermass (on the principle that Childermass cares about him and has been with him for so long they couldn’t help grow together somewhat) or Strange (more of a sudden romantic-love thing, and that’s hinted at in canon. When I eventually write Pineapple Dumpling I’ll go for them growing together in the Pillar of Darkness because I find romantic love stuff irritating)

 

Jonathan Strange

a.k.a. Clever, Dashing, Handsome, Witty, & Has All The Best Lines…and other Reasons to Hate Him (no, not really, but I love people with non-obvious charms)

I was quite thrown when there were people on the kinkmeme suggesting he’d be bad/selfish in bed, because all we’re shown (re: socially adept and cares about other people) suggests he’d be fairly attentive to a partner. He might get up from bed and look things up in his magic books halfway through, I think that’s what he’d get wrong.

The Peninsular Shenanigans. Is having sex with Grant/de Lancey/Wellington/all three in a grim desperate escape from the horrors of war, searching for comfort, sort of way.

It’s only fair that his wife is having an affair with Emma Pole at some point, then.

His style of magic is Romantic rather than Augustan (which is definitely what we’re shown in the series, all those faces and hand gestures etc)

War changes him. Obviously. (yay Peninsular Shenanigans for mil-slash types)

Being confined in Faerie changes him even more (yay Pineapple Dumpling for those of us who swing that way)

 

Vinculus 

a.k.a. The Book/s of the Raven King, Unembarrassable, Will Do Anyone

May be an exotic dancer...he strips down easily enough. 

Is very difficult to 'read'.

Will have sex (or make rude jokes) with anyone.

 

The Gentleman with the Thistledown Hair

a.k.a. Those English Magicians are Stupid and Ugly...But I Might as Well Turn Up When They Conjure Me.

Is _madly_ in love with Stephen. Well, if you're impressed enough to bring someone home, invite them to a threesome, sorry, 'dance of three partners', and try to not only dress them up but make them King, it's certainly showing that the Gentleman is quite _epris._ This is, of course, a tragic love and not going to end well. The TV series shows that the Gentleman seriously honestly loved him but it was a tragic flaw that the only things he did would cause Stephen pain. In the book, he's a more corrupt entity but I think there are signs of the same idea.

Has a weird hentai/alien/corkscrew cock of some kind (a trope that goes all the way back to K/S and Spock's 'jade tower').

Has been written shaving or dressing-up Stephen as a mirror of the Stephen-shaving-him scene.

 

Stephen Black

a.k.a. There are Some Bells that Should Not Be Answered

Handsome, well-mannered, incredibly-competent....and has the bad luck to catch the eye of a Fairy.

It's really rather sad that he loses all his respect for his master once the Gentleman persuades him that Englishmen regard an educated Negro like a talking dog. It was very well-written in the book as a thing that was not necessarily true but there was just enough truth in it that the Gentleman could use it to alienate Stephen Black from England altogether.

He ends up killing the Gentleman (well, somebody has to) and taking his unflappable competence to rule a fairy _brugh_. At least one person on the kink-meme (considering inanimate objects in Faery aren't exactly inanimate) would like to see him having a fight with a tree. Just because.

 

John Uskglass

a.k.a. The Raven King (couldn't think up a soubriquet for him because he already has one)

Pretty.

Slightly French.

Has fuckoff-massive power and is able to command the entirety of English Magic to go away, or come back.

Turns up in dreams to shag his loyal subjects (a tormented young Norrell or a delighted Childermass) who then forget all about the dream, because Raven King.


End file.
